9 months old and counting

To my dear little babe, This isn’t the first letter I’ll write you, nor I imagine the last. But I wanted to celebrate and acknowledge the steep learning curve you and I have been on over the last 18 months. You were born at 8.17pm on Monday 30 January this year, when I was 38…

I’ve got that medical rage

My medical rage is so bad that I spent the hours between 1 and 3am trying to think of suitably insulting alternative words for ‘GP’. I didn’t get far because nothing was bad enough – that’s how mad I am. Goo Poo was about the best I managed. Ginormous Pricks was too complementary. Unlike my…

Not motherhood material

I was describing myself the other day and this popped out: “Round human. Big family. Big mouth. On reflection, probably not motherhood material.” All true. There’s natural earth mothers, then there’s me. I am the youngest of six kids, and never had a natural affinity to babies or toddlers. They confused me and scared me…

The day I went full Mama Bear

Last week I went full Mama bear; and I’m not sorry. Last week I lived one of my biggest fears. I remembered that every day, I seem to discover a new thing I know nothing about. And that being strong sometimes means letting tears slip down your cheeks and show the medical staff just how…

Don’t call me baby

I have a one year old. A toddler. Not a baby, but a small child. I won’t lie, I’m finding it weird. Now, I have never been overly attached to the idea of a baby, I’m not romantic about the whole deal (in fact, I have been called ‘brutally honest’ more than once). But even…

On your first ever birthday

To my darling daughter, Here we are – we did it! You, me and your dad survived the shit out of our first year together and I am so proud of the little human you are, and the big humans we are too. It was not without trials – I learned my heart can be…

Work work work work eep

I’m going back to workin’ nine to five (well, 8:39am to 5pm to be exact, long story) and I am ab-so-bloody-lutely packing bricks. I thought I was fine until I saw the look on the Husband’s face when I said yet another terse comment. I think I may have been a ‘little’ (ok big) nightmare…

2017, it’s been real

2017 is the year I became someone’s mother and realised I know nothing. The year I discovered that I could be the happiest happy and the saddest sad all in one day. The year I found out how strong, and vulnerable, I am. The year I celebrated and commiserated, leaned on, stood fast with and…

Find your village, they said

Even though it’s designed to be the word version of a hug, ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ was always an intimidating statement to me, a near-impossible item on a scary-as-shit to do list: Enjoy your labor Find your village Raise a CEO And then one day, there I was, in need of…

Wean (rhymes with mean)

Today is the second day, since she was born, that I will not breastfeed my baby. I won’t lie, I’m finding it hard. Hard because last night when she cried and cried and cried I wanted to placate her by sticking a boob in her mouth. Hard because when I got up in the morning…